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Surviving the bus journey was a feat, but surviving the Malaysia grand prix would further test my skills. In search of a rare breed of Human known as Sean Fu77er, after walking the streets of Kuala Lumpur, which were still very busy and humid even at 6am, with only a 3 hour rest to look forward to.

Morning came quick and after a horrible noodle breakfast we were speeding down the disctincly more humid undergrounds (than Thailand) and metros, heading to the track for a day of speed and heat. A quick ticket, beer and pit girl walk round was required after arriving at the track in good time. After looking at the silly 4 pound prices for a small can of ale, a sillier comment on why Shumacher had stalled on the first lap, which turned out to be the practice lap, was capitalised on, and then the silliest of things, which was 2 white english lads getting pure tannage, yet looking like a shine of sun rays off a mirror while sweating their pitts off (bad pun intended) in the 44 degree heat!! Earplugs were required after a while as the unbelieveable sound of the ferocious engines roared past continuously. A remarkable day all round was had and it was worth the long journey to see.

All photos can be found on face book: www.facebook.com
much easier than me doin them individually than on here (just search for my name.

Onwards and upwards tomorrow as Sean and me head up north to check out a fabled duty free island.

Big rude parts! remains copyright of the author porkpie, a member of the travel community Travellerspoint.

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Everyone was in party mode as we jumped of the taxi in Had Rin, the 4 hour slow ass ferry ride behind us. Now was the hunt for the hostel, and even though it being a good 4 days before the main night itself, most places were booked up, and twice the price as usual. With the hussel and bussel of thousands of 20 year olds lining the bars, streets and hot pant shops, looking for some littler, skimpier ones i recon, time was of the essence for both myself and the Blakester, who by this time was getting anxious that he hadn't has a beer in what must have been a good 45 mins! We booked the hostel, packed the party atmosphere, and f**ked off (sorry mum!) to Had Rin beach to see what all the fuss was about! Amazing! Fire dancing, bucket hats, neons, 'Koh Pagnan' in fire, and every type of music thumping out from loud ass speakers the whole way down the beach.

We were in for a special week!

Met back up with Sam and Carline for a quick catch-up of previous recent madness and a prediction of the madness to follow. The rest of the week invloved many red bull and vodca buckets, Blakey playing on the decks with the heavy records hes been carrying all this time, which was 'FAT', chilling out around the pool hungover, as well as sitting in the sea as it was about a foot deep for 800 meters. Cheap food still available, tuna sarnies were eaten in abundance. The Amsterdam bar was hit, Sam jumped over a rope on fire so fast that it put the flame out, then he fell onto a freshly broken table full of glasses, very nasty as even the vodca red bulls couldn't numb the pain! After a bit of first aid the full moon party was back on track for the day after and the arrival of one of Blakeys mates, Jarman, by walking with his bag on his head from far out at sea to our place was hilarious!! Something in the red bull, or excess of it, made sleeping in the day hard and as more people were recruited by friends of friends or our own recruitage, the only thing for it was to get hair of the bull that bit you. Power dancing was done, weird and wonderful sights were seen, the best being me and Blakey, after a wander down the beach, being at the top balcony to one of the clubs, seeing for as far as the eye can see, a beach which couldnt have been more full of party goers, all raving it up, quality! Boobage was imminent, as was the early morning crash and burn from 4 days of partying, but that wasnt the end.

10am it said on my watch, and the memory of a 10am to 2pm afterparty flyer came drifting back into my thoughts of the carnage of last night. But what about today?! Enough sleep was probably had so why not round up the troops for a re-run! Re-bandage. Taxi. Quick search. Then back on it!! After feeling more on form than yesterday, and seeing lots of people who hadnt had the sleep break, an amazing day was had! People as old as my dad still 'stumble' dancing, girls still with party clothes on (just about) and guys with the borat man-kini on were sights for drunken eyes! The music was spot on too, a bit of Tribal House to bounce too while doing the rounds of talking to everyone, who still could, while watching Sam hop dance about and talk to anyone and everyone!!

What a week.

All the madness had to end in a crazy way, and what better than a 23 hour bus journey which included getting conned of a fat ugly Thai Maog (half man half dog - but really a woman) for a free bit of paper! Sleep wasnt too bad, and Malaysia, more specifically Kuala Lumpur, was reached with a good few hours to spare before the Grand Prix!

To be continued........

Full Moon Party!! remains copyright of the author porkpie, a member of the travel community Travellerspoint.

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After a queesy and long journey down here (beers on the balcony were a good idea at the time) we made it to the TVC (Tsunami Volunteer Centre). First day was a Thursday, and Friday is the day that everyone goes to the beach in the afternoon, so only a couple of days of grafting till we get a rest! First day we had a little briefing, learned some interesting facts such as:-

it was the worst affected area in Thailand
78% of people died
the wave was 11 meters high and 1.5 km deep
40km of Thailand was in a bad way after

After this we headed to Nam Khem where the building of 56 new houses was under way. On the ride there we saw loads of palm trees which were just trunks as the tsunami washed all their tops off as well as boats washed up on the land. Although the first day was a little slow due to building materials not being delivered, but it still felt rewarding none the less. Second day was better, still not used to these early mornings, but everyone seemed zombied so we fit in! Loved the power digging sweating my ass off in the 35 degree plus heat, it made me feel like i was doing something good for the world! All the locals were always helping to built the houses too which resulted in some good laughs, nearly geting married to most of them, and learning some funny Thai such as 'I like to lick dirty toilet seats!!'.

When the weekend began, so did the best experience ever! After a lazy Saturday doing exams and chilling in a pool, breathing underwater of course, Sunday arrived and so did SCUBA diving at one of the worlds top 10 dive sites!! The 2 hour boat ride made us fee a mixture of queezy and butterflies of excitedness, and definately more of the latter when we got closer and started to put yesterdays learning into practice, gearing up and diving into the unknown. Exercises were testing but relitively easy, taking the mask off, buoyancy control, and not panicing while getting you breathing regulator pulled out of your mouth, among others!! After passing those, me and Hussey followed the instructor around the amazing coral reef which was just like Finding Nemo, a whole new world, and a really personal experience due to the inability to talk, except to yourself! It isnt natural and when you float upside down with your feet in the air looking at a mad fish and some beautiful coral reef get lit up by the sun it feels odd, but amazingly engrossing.

Second day was amazing too. Due to the small group of only Hussey and myself we passed all the final test and the activites yesterday and so monday was simply 2 free dives with no messing about! Today was at Koh Tao a different Island to the ones yesterday but equally as good. You could say better, as as soon as we were in the water a giant Manta Ray glided elegantly over us and the sheer size of it amazed us! Underwater camera in tow, we swam about going as deep as 22 meters (even though 18m should be the limit) hunting down more manta rays, tiger fish, lethal parrot fish which try to bite your face, a big octopus, nemo fish, evil looking moral eels and hundereds of other multi-coloured fish, swimmming in shoals, fighting, chilling or following us, all which took our breath away, but not enough to make us drown underwater!!

After Sean the Marine left us, taking a poor 'Spaffingly' friendly bar womans last t-shirt with him, the rest of the week entailed some kind of party each night, a different excuse each time, followed by a day of tired, hungover, power digging holes for drainage systems and water systems, again all in the sweltering heat. After the Sweedish site manager took us to 'Dave the ladyboys' restauraunt for a weekly dinner, i'm sure not by accident, funny faces were pulled, then in the next bar Tom-Tallula came out and gave us a private dance!! See vid for further info...!!

An emotional goodbye to Huss was had after a big BBQ with all the volunteers and locals was had, including a massive beer funnel, Frank the Tank stylee!! Me and Blakey continue onwards and Eastwards, to no less than the Full Moon Party island of Koh Pagnan!!! Yessss!!!

Chok dee khrab!

Tsunami Volunteering remains copyright of the author porkpie, a member of the travel community Travellerspoint.

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Jungle Trecking with a marine! remains copyright of the author porkpie, a member of the travel community Travellerspoint.

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Firstly back to Bangkok, and on the first night, now unnerved by the crazy nature of Khao San Road, we hit the bustling streets once more. Full of ladyboys, beer girls in skintight beer coordinated dresses, and the best pool husslers i've ever seen, yup you guessed it, female 'escorts' who constantly took peoples money off them in exchange for a wooping on the pool table, (and something else probably later on)!! Met up with Sam and his girlfriend, Carline, and her mum, Wendy, for a sherbert or 2. Sam had a bag full of crickets, worms, grubs and other niceties which we had fun munching on!! A Maccy Ds on the way home was imminent, so was Blakey dancing in the streets to a bit of Dire Straights! The day after was much the same, use all the budget on beer, show the street break dancers how to 'dance' by doing russian dancing and a few cartwheels then find a club. This one turned out to be a peach and had all the lasers, thumping tunes, and decent DJ that we'd been missing. Best bit of the night was Blakey blocking up the stairs with mattresses, and then us running off, even though the porter robbed my camera case, luckily with nothing in it. Check out the videos...

Party Bus...Bangkok >> Krabi

Sam woke us all up hungover, and we had an awesome day chilling by the pool, cant believe how many Sweedish people are out here! With the 16 hour bus journey ahead, a subway was in order for the journey. After watching a bit of Muay Thai training it was time to get the bus. For once it lived up to expectation and was late, however was quite posh for once, it had a Valve Sound System set up taking up half of the bus! We soon met a marine called Sean, as well as Emily and Becky, constanly adding to the party train! Initiated the new recruits by not letting them get any sleep (or half the bus actually :S) but had a quality time. Eventually ended up in Krabi and on the beach Ao Nang where there are massive rock structures sticking out everywhere again.

Place we were sleeping in was similar to a drug den (from my best guesstimates!) which meant for the next few days we HAD to either be on the beach or in the relaxing shade of a near by tavern. Beat marine at connect 4, many times, which meant he had to down the beer. Met a Will Ferrel look alike and almost all 'went streaking' (Old School)! Sam fell asleep in the middle of the dance floor, god knows what everyone else thought, and i passed out on a towel in the air conditioned room of the girls, real comfy.

The next 2 days we spent living out our Hells Angels fantasies and either got choppers or scooters out and made our way to the local 4 tiered waterfall. This was amazing, you could jump off from various hights just like Stainforth! Even more amazing was the locals showing me up by doin backflips and forward flips off the top tree branch. On the second day, we dallied about (never thought i'd use that word!) so we couldnt make the waterfalls further away, but i was more than content to go there again. This time i saw a path beyond the biggest jump and followed it for a while, over cliff faces, through streams, and round spider infested trees till I stumbled across the other 4 tiers of the waterfall, all at once and in their natural beauty! Amazing being on my own on the second tier which was like a giant bath, loking up at the massive 2 other falls, and down at the bottom one. There was only on was down to (in my eyes) and that was to scale a wall of the 2nd one, jump into the bath like 3rd, then run and jump into the 4th!! Nature is amazing!

Krabi >> Koh Lanta

Sam departed as we departed, he did promise to spread the word 'Goochtastic' though, ledgend! All found a hut with enough beds in for cheap price near the beach, cant complain at all! Ended up in the best bar on the island, Opium, to watch footy and celebrate St Paddys day.
Its amazing how the cheapest and most unexpected days can be the best as for the next 2 days we simply chilled on the beach, swam in the clear blue sea, chucked the american footy about, swam to the jetty which was about 400 m out at sea, checked out the fish, and threw ourselves off it willy nillilly! At night times we ate at a steak house and pizzeria and had very probably the best pizzas ever. Afterwards we got buckets of ice and filled them with big cheap Tigers (beers of course!) whacked the ipod on and laughed into the night.
The only exception being on the second day marine decided to crack open a coconut with his fat knife, then proceeded to climb a tree to get one, however the milk and inside was delicious, and after the tropical storm we all had goes at opening freshly fallen ones (Blakey with his bare hands)! We also drank from the fruit of cashoonut trees and felt like 'real men, i like'.

Enough for now, i'll tell you about the volunteering, diving, grand prix and the rave of all raves, the full moon party next time, thats all for now kids;
xxx

Back to the land of 1000 smiles remains copyright of the author porkpie, a member of the travel community Travellerspoint.

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Got up early to get the bus to the demiliterised zone. Had amazing Indians for the last few days, so glad that they didnt interfere with the journey! Tour guide informed us about things which happened in the war, how it started, etc. Pity because after the war all the locals were eager to get rid of anything which reminded them of the war, and sold lots of the metal to scrap people for a good price. We saw some interesting places and places that were key areas throughout the war. Route 9 was the main road through the middle of Vietnam and we saw a lot of bridges, rivers, monuments and bunkers which still were around. Next was a military base and air strip the Americans held and we saw helicopters, tanks, massive guns, shells and loads of interesting, but sickening, pictures and guns in the museum which brought the war into bloody colour. No pictures of Forest Gump though, gutted.

Lastly, we went to the Vinh Mok tunnels, which are a massive system of underground tunnels which the Vietnamese people lived and hid through out the war and were a key thing for victory. They took 18 months to build by hand and go as far as 22 meters underground. Out of the 17 tunnels we saw 1500 people lived there in tiny 'family rooms' cut into the rock, astonishing how i alone would not be able to stand or lie down in there, let alone a family. There was also a maternaty 'hole' where 7 children were born. Funny watching everyone croutch down, and get scared, this after some of the tunnels had been widened for westerners, and this without getting bombed, raided or being there for up to 10 days at a time with only a 10 minute break after that period! And living there for 5 years all together.

Watched some footy and got free cocktails.

Hue >>> Ninh Binh >>> Hanoi

On this night bus, which was 5pm till 7am (of course they told us it was meant to get there at 4am), sleep wasnt an option with the bloody constant beeping of horns we've come to expect from Vietnam. When we find a t-shirt shop we're going to get 'honk if your horny t-shirts'! The 'Welcome to Ninh Binh' sign came and the 'Thank you for Visiting' sign left as the driver who probably was high off some substance or other forgot we were meant to stay there! Stayed on till Hanoi where the hotel workers were met with lots of characters looking like Death!

The rest of the week basically consists of us finding a place called 'Le Pub', watching football to all hours of the morning, getting blagged off the hotel workers to book a trip to Halong bay, more Le Pub, and winging at the strangely English like weather.

A day trip to Halong Bay broke the above scenario and was quite impressive. Masses (3000) rock structures emerging from the sea. We went to an island which had a huge cave in it which was lit quite well with coloured neons, and the usual stalagtite buisness. Then we went to look at a floating fishing village with a school provided by the good old English. This was near where they filmed part of a James Bond movie (the one with Nick Nack in i think) and we took a littler boat to see that.

Bangkok bound again, with Huss nearly spewing from watching crash scene investigation this week!

More rubbish computers so unable to put pics or vids on, but try to sort it soon.

Laters.

Vietnam, part 2. remains copyright of the author porkpie, a member of the travel community Travellerspoint.

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With Eddie Halliwell and Mark EG keeping me company, and the 2 cafflers suffering and asleep, the hair of the dog was inevitable, and i couldnt have felt happier with awesome scenery, the music, the wind in my nipple hairs, and the sun beating down! Mad little villages on stilts well out into the water and locals fishing with no more than a floating bit of wood as a boat and home made nets and poles were also intriguing.

In the end we were all dancing with ipods on, on the top of the boat! Madness.

Found a nice hotel, however all the locals are very touchy feely and it a bit daunting at times. Especially when they make rubbish jokes about their mates being lady boys! Continued the beer, rude not to, and met some randomers. Got anihalated by the locals at pool (they knew all the contours of the table, making it more like crazy golf than pool)!

On valentines day we set off to the S21 torture camp and the Killing Fields. As the names suggest they weren't the nicest of places to go. S21 was a prison and torture camp during Pol Pots regime. In the old cells and buildings, which used to be a school, there were sickening pictures, torture wepons, and paintings by a man who survived the camp (there were only 7), which depicted all the horrifc torture methods that they used, as well as pictures of all the faces of people who were in there, children and women included. There was a list of the rules which the camp employed as well, the 2 memorable ones were While getting lashes or electrification you must not cry at all; and the last one was if any of the rules were broken then you'd get 10 lashes with the electric whip or 5 shocks of electric discharge :S. With beggars outside with only half limbs and faces which had been nepalmed in the war, it left us all feeling sick!

Got a puncture on the was to the Killing Fields and had to walk the last little bit. Good job there are hundereds of mechanics around seen as there are 8 billion bikes out here. At the place there is a monumnt for the deceased, to try to make this sort of thing never happen again. It was filled with skulls which had been dug up mearby. Inside the skulls were aranged in to groups such as 'Female 15-20'. Nearby were the mass graves with signs saying what was found there, ie 'Many naked women and children were found here, hands still bound'.The trees nearby still had big indentations where the whips were used and there were bones just in piles everywhere with prisoners clothes scattered about, half in the mud, half sticking out, it was all-in-all very sickening!

We were going to go and shoot some guns afterwards but it would have felt a bit weird after seeing these places where hundereds of people were shot. We'll do it in naaam,

Arrived in Vietnam on the 15th, there were corrupt officials at the boarder who made us all pay an extra dollar to them at the 3 different counters. The bus was going to be 2 hours late so we decided to get our own taxi, skip Ho Chi Minh city, and go straight to the beach at Mui En! The 6 hour journey in our own personalised air conditionded mini bus only cost us 40 quid all together!

Update soon!

Harrowing Valentines; Good morning Vietnam! remains copyright of the author porkpie, a member of the travel community Travellerspoint.

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Made it to Koh Chang Island, and its amazing!! Snow in England?? Unlucky suckers, at least 35 degrees today, i'm sweatin my nipps off and its 6pm!

Some of the things to note on the way down are:-
Not being able to see any of the sky scrapers in the distance due to all the polution in the city, real bad, you can taste it in your mouth after being out for an hour or 2,
The advertising boards being HUGE, i'm talking about 30 meters by 80m.
The kings face being on every street corner, pillar, doorway etc. Not sure this is because its his 60th year in reign (in december) or they are just really patriotic!
And noticed how weird it is how no matter how poor and shanty looking a house is or a run-down basketball court, it will always have an imaculate white and gold, usually large (4 bird houses together say), pristine shrine or altar in the corner.

Realised we've been shafted by the travel agency in Bangkok, as we've paid about 250% more than we should have for accomodation for the week. Least we've learnt our lesson and its only cost us about 60 quid

Anyways (time for the boast!) the seas are an amazing turquoise green blue colour, and the beaches are as fine as icing sugar! Adding the mountain jungle backdrop and quality tannage weather tops it off. Just been chillin last few days really, and playing footy and bat an ball on the beach. Lazy days!

Havin an easy one out of the sun cos i'm a bit burnt today, saving the money for an all out partytomorrow, where it starts at sun down, till sun up. Hopefully Blakey will be here then.

Seen some monkeys, and some huge spiders and geckos that would put bazs to shame, bigtime!!

I'll put some pictures on once i've shrunk them down.
Take it easy
Porky

Koh Chang Island remains copyright of the author porkpie, a member of the travel community Travellerspoint.

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We walked down to the river side, the streets are far less daunting in the morning when all the annoying people havent woken up properly. We took a wrong turning down towards this university, but met this local who helpfully drew on our map all the places that we should go, especially places that were only open on a saturday. He also said that is was a special day for the Tuk Tuks (little mad taxis!) and should charge no more than 20 baht (30p) as they got free petrol! One pulled up just at the right time (for once) and the local told him where to go (as in the places and not to stick it up his own ass!)

On this 6 hour trip, we saw a golden buddah about 65 meters high, the fully marble temple, a lucky buddah (just what we needed) a cashmeer suit place which is only open for one week of the year and offered us suits for about 200 quid fully tailor made (i managed to dis-persuade myself after realising it was extra coin for a bungee jump or skydive), a temple to see the solid golden buddah, the palace where the king used to live, and finally to Khao San road, just at the right time, as the sun was setting to see the craziest place on earth at its prime!! It has every type of shop, person, nationality, smell, sign and noise possible! Some potentially non lady boy hot girls too!!

Watched the liverpool game.

Then to bed, ready for the bus journey to Koh Chang Island tomorrow.

Bangkok, is similar to Nelson... remains copyright of the author porkpie, a member of the travel community Travellerspoint.

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Upon checking in at the airport, we were informed that due to overbooking the plane we could get 400 quid and free stay at the Hilton if we took the same flight the day after. We took it, but had to wait till last check in to see if we had got it. When we went back, we waited to see if our name got read out, as there were loads of people waiting, including a girl from OZ who was bridesmaid at her best mates wedding, and would miss it if didn't get on. Anyway our names got read out, as we were the only people in a group of 2, and even though we were gutted about the coinage, were on the way to Thailand! I dont think the girl got on!

The plane journey was good, the entertainment and food was both 'first class', as Alan Partridge would say! I only got 2 hours sleep, but got to see Mount Everest, which was pretty impressive.

I've never been as annoyed after leaving the airport with at least 500 gits shouting at us to get in their taxis, which were all over priced! We finally found the bag head stand and got a 1 and a half hour taxi for 500 bahts, which works out about 6 quid!! Amazin!

All the hotels were fully booked and i was quite more relaxed after seeing quite a few more westerners on Khao San Road after pure Thai before. We managed then to book a smart hotel (bed air-con and breakfast) and also a bus, train, and ferry to our next destination on Sunday, (8h our journey) Khao Chang island, all for only 35 quid!!

I only got another 3 hours sleep last night, but breakfast was amazing this morning and we are now off to explore the city properly!!

Pictures to follow!

Laters

xx

First Day remains copyright of the author porkpie, a member of the travel community Travellerspoint.

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So this is the first entry to the adventrures of Huckleberry Porks.
At the minute i feel like i couldnt get any more excited if i won the lottery, and i dont think i'll be as excited on my wedding day (contrary to popular belief)!

Heres a video of who i'm gunna have to put up with for a year;

on the plus side he will have a 'Important documents' folder (like in Germany hehe )!

Update you in 6072 miles!!

(",)

First Entry remains copyright of the author porkpie, a member of the travel community Travellerspoint.

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